Far away. Too far, too long...

With my best friend - my mother. Both of us are kind of crazy :D 

One of the rare parties I`ve visited during this time.

More than one month has passed since I am back "home". Just month and a half, but it feels like forever.The worst part is that I still have no idea - why did I return? 
Emptiness and just cold feelings are surrounding me here. I am trying to find a job and move at least to Riga, but first time in my life nothing is working out excatly as I want and I know why - it is because actually I don`t want to be here. Every time, when I close my eyes I am sitting in a plane and leaving - I`ve got no idea about my destination yet, but  one thing is known for sure - I desperately want to be back on the road again. 
It feels so strange - place where I was born is not my motherland. I`ve been saying it for thousands of times and i`ll repeat myself again - I am an alien here. I do not feel familiar with that freezing cold weather, people, attitude...
And just a small, small, small tought or dream of being back in Turkey makes me feel so happy, even if I have no idea, how to make it for now.
I am just imagining that I could arrive in the airport of Istanbul and put my Vodafone sim card in my phone and call everybody to say - heiii, arkadaslarim, sizleri cook ozledim, so I returned. It would be such a happy moment for me. 
Hard to believe - I tought it could never happen, but I`ve also lost sunshine on my face, it is even almost impossible to make a small artificial smile... To be honest - I am totally, totally lost and I want to get out of this situation as fast as possible. 


Again and again life is forcing me to be strong. I have to be. I`ve no way out otherwise. Just one ticket to anywhere could change my life. 
I hate this feeling of being stuck. It is time for new life, new beginning. I must find a way, how to follow my dreams. 

This is what I missed a lot... lovely landscapes of Latvia.

View from my window.

And my cute cousin and our big big motocycle.