The view from my winow was the view, which I missed the most, while being away. I love to have a cigarette and a cup of hot mint tea, while sitting on the window sill. Sometimes it feels like it is the most peaceful place on the whole universe. For me it perfect in any time of day or night... in every season...
And guess what? Every morning it brings more and more supprises. Except birds, which are knocing my window sill, this morning I noticed something, what shocked me and gave the first Christmass feeling this year.
It wasn`t that long time ago, when I was excited about colourful leafs of the trees... but this morning - EMPTY. Everything is empty. My dear weather - how dare you? It is a conclusive sign, that winter is comming and we`ll have snow in 2 weeks, I guess. Xoxoxo. Actually it was snowing already in the east part of Latvia yesterday night. Brr. It`s really, really getting cold over here.
Notwithstanding the cold weather, we I took part in a small parade in honor of the battle of Freedom 1919. 11th of November was the day, when our soldiers kicked the army of Bermont out of Lavia. The parade was full of patriotism and memories, but this year it didn`t make me feel emotional or patriotic.
After all the experience I gained, people I met, I`ve became unfamiliar with this place. I am an alien, I`m a legal alien....
And I am still trying to get used to situation of my life. 2 and a half months of being back home has diven me really crazy. My mind is working non-stop. Every day thousands of toughts are crossing my mind, but I still can not find solution or way out.
Believe me - doing is not the hardest part. Hardest part is to find out what I want to do.... Where I want to be..With whom.. why...
Everything seems like a priority - my happiness, my grandmother, brother... my dreams, my love, home... abilities. Every day is like huge dilemma, cause it doesen`t matter, what I`ll gain - I must lose something.
After checking hundreds of job offers, I`ve finally found one, which could fit me. I applied for stewardess position in Ryanair (don`t laugh, especially you Eliza!!! :D). I have no idea, is it possible or not, but I passed the first selection and they invited me for an interview after 2 weeks.
This job is the most appropriate for me right now - I`ll be in an international environment, always on the way and still - I`ll be here in Latvia at least with one feet :D So, please, wish me luck, cause I`ll really need it.
If I can not get a job over there, I have no idea, not at all, what else I would like to do. Cause job in Riga with salary of 200 lats and living in some creepy flat is not attracting me at all.
Anyway, today I am going to Riga, cause I need to change the environment for a while .Also I`ll try to visit Improvisation theatre on Thursday. Oh, I miss playing so much, but watching also is fine. And what a happiness- yesterday night my boss from tennsi courts called me, he is going to play today, so I can earn smth again.
And the bright side is that I`ve found some turkish people in Riga. Most probably I`m gonna meet up at least with one of them, just to feel the turkish spirit again and practice my "perfect turkce :D". Unutmak istemiyorum arkadaslarim :D Cok komik yaa. Burada biraz turkce konustum we herkes - "ohh, you can speak turkish very well :D:D:D so so cool:D:D" soyledi. Ama siz benim turkcem bilirsiniz :D
Taaamaam, let`s hope that better days, good days, awesome days are on their way :) Now I must run to buss :)
PS - I am waiting for Christmas, cause Dārta, Aiga, Elīza and Rihards (?) are comming home :) I miss all of them so much!!! So, so, so much! :)
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