LIVE STRONG

I was just laying down today and hoping to fall asleep - not to feel any pain or worries at least for a while. You know, it`s strange - I`ve never really enjoyed sleeping, cause in my opinion it was waste of time, but now I do. I really, really do, cause it helps me to forget and rest...

But I guess a miracle happened. I mean - I am still in trouble, maybe the biggest I`ve ever had in my entire life, but I found strength in myself again. It was just yesterday, when I tought - damn, I wont make it trough, but today - today some ideas came up in my mind and it helped me to find a hope and not to give up yet.

This is the REAL time to learn to live for the moment - excatly this day, hour, minute and second. Cause maybe this is the only one we have. Toughts about difficulties in past and worries about the future only hurt  and make us weak. This is the moment, we have to LIVE and do or best - to help the closest people around us, but it`s important to remeber about OURSELVES first - if we are not happy, we can not make others happy - so above all the trouble around sometimes we just need to say "fuck it" and take care of ourselves first.

I must take a really hard decision now - I`ve got my chance to go to Spain for half of the year, but when I agreed to go, I had no idea, that such a problem in my family will show up. And, if there are those times, when u can not see a light at the end of the tunnel, then this is one of those...