Another stormy night in Copenhagen, I can hear the breeze of wind smashing against the rooftop window and I am sure it is strong enough to leave some damage. There is roughness all over the place. Constantly grey sky, harsh people and heavy emptiness has become a part of my surroundings.
Hard to admit, but I know that it is only a reflection of myself. I feel lonely. And it is not such a thing that one is ever ready to say out loud... But I do feel alone, because I have lost a bit of me throughout the journey.
My own mind and body feels uncomfortable. Bits and peaces are breaking down to be replaced with something new soon. I don`t want to be whom I was and I don`t know whom I could become. Tied up in-between with a lack of direction.
In my mind I know that all I feel now is only a result of stepping out of the comfort zone. Another year, another country, culture shock and new responsibilities prove that it does not matter how high you climb, whenever you start a new life it also means hitting the bottom in some way...and the other way round - hitting the bottom always leads to starting a new life and leaving behind the old "skin". I had grown a thick one during the years of self-protection and probably it is the reason why tearing it off hurts so bad that there are moments when it feels like it`s not worth the pain.
But I know it is. The road that I have started now is not a survival game anymore, it is a step up.
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