Jamming

I guess, this morning I woke up excatly at the same time with sun. A bit of morning coolness and foreknowledge that this is going to be a good day. 
Yesterday started with many toughts in my head. As I told already - I`m totally into making my life clear right now - with everyone and everything. And at the morning of the previous day I decided to stop one of my stories here in Turkey. Just life is too short to always wait. We must live right now, in this moment, enjoying eating, fucking, having fun and so on (as my lion king says :D ). Maybe it sounds a little bit skin-deep, but at the same time - there is some true in theese words, cause I`ve wasted so much time while waiting for something or somebody. And during this process, I forgot to live for today. Time is passing and I will never be able to return it, so it had to stop. Especially, if I knew from the very beginning, that maybe there is no point to start. But I tried, maybe failed a little bit, but what can you do sometimes? Life goes further, right? 
On the one hand I feel terribly sad, cause I`m gonna miss those moments, conversations, hugs and all the rest, but I also feel released, cause in a way now there is a free place in my life. And in this reality normally free places don`t stay free for a long time. We will see :)


I should mention, that step by step life here is getting better and better. For example - my working plan. Since some 2 weeks already (after Gamze left) I don`t have to go to kindergarden, which makes my staying here amzing. Instead of that I`m spending every day in office doing the part of project coordinating. For example I have to ansver to international phone calls, I`m conntacting with the volunteers, checking documents and soon, when the projects will start there will be much more things to do. I really love my job and I don`t mind to stay in office from early morning till late night. This is also a way, how I`m going to learn things, which I didn`t knew before, because I just HAVE to do that. Secuk (my mr.menthor) doesen`t have any idea about projects and stuff. He has done just the bureaucratic part before, so I`m forced to learn, which is good, cause sometimes I may get a little lazy :D


Now I should go, cause in 40 minutes my trip to picknick with bicycles will start. I found some new friends from university here and they are really cool. Yesterday we went to karaoke together and today there will be this camping. Good. I told you, that there is never an empty space. If you let it go, something has to come instead, when you are ready for that. 
So, have a nice day everybody, I have to go. Till the next time :)