I just came to say "hello"

Just few days more and it will be one month, since I left Latvia to start a totally new and unpredictable life in Spain. I still have no idea, why am I here, what excatly I`m doing with my life and where it will take me. I didn`t have time neither for thinking twice, nor saying goodbyes. It seems a bit funny now, cause I`m a real proof, that life can be turned upside down just in one second. 

It takes just one decision to move the time.
Sometimes I feel surprised about myself and my way of living. I am afraid to go to the dentist alone, but at the same time I can pack a small luggage and leave my home, without knowing, if I`ll ever return...I always panic, if I have to eat fish or liver, but I can go to an unknown city alone, stay with a people I have never met before... feel good with them...

Last weekend was something amazing - I went to Barcelona without any plans, but it turned out as one of the best holidays of my life. I was so free, so much ME... The feeling, that those people you are talking with, dancing with, sharing a bottle of beer with - has crossed your way for the first and the last time in your life is the best feeling u can ever have. It opens all the hidden and downtrodden peaces of a human`s essence - we forget to be scared, shy, limited and restricted by society standards - it`s like an absolute freedom - such a mix of people from all over the worl in narrow streets and poky bars and everybody has smth to talk about, to share with.. everyone want`s love and nobody needs a war :D America, Belgium, Turkey, Ukraine, China, France, Spain, Portugal, Germany and Latvia in between all of them.

It`s really hard to describe, but the ones, who has experienced any multicultural hug or saying hello and goodbye at the same night to the people, you love from the 1st second, will shake their heads to tell that they agree and understand :)

I`ve got a lack of words... but whatever. At least I`ve understood, that it`s not neccessary to have an absolute lonelyness or silence to be yourself. It`s easier to feel yourself, while facing a crowd alone :) U just can not make those little voices in your head silent. They are screaming all the time - I LOVE THIS LIFE, I LOVE THIS LIFE, even if it`s damn hard sometimes : )

Being alone somwhere in the world makes me feel alive, strong and beautiful.