CONFESSION

Right now a very important part of my life is going to be over soon. Almost one year far away from home and reality. I remember that at the beginning I was writing some reasons and expectations of my being here - that all was BULLSHIT. The only thing I actually wanted was just to GET AWAY from all of the problems, which seemed impossible to solve. 

At least one thing I`ve learned during this time - to confess to myself, sepparate mind from feelings and truth from lies, which I was telling to myself and the others. I had to get away from all of those fucking memories, which filled my home, all of those fights and hopeless situations. I felt so bored to see the problems every day, which actually wasn`t my fault. I just wanted to be happy, that was my aim. 

However, despite the amazing moments I`ve had here, one thing has been prooved again - it is impossible to escape from yourself. One year has passed and nothing has changed in the list of my worries. 

I want it or not, but life is sending me back home, where all of my monstres and wardrobe skeletons are still waiting for me. There is no such a place in the whole universe, which could save me from that. 

Maybe that`s why I unconsciously gave up all my effort to find a job here and stay. First I must go home and face the reality. 

And I really hope that it is not that bad, as I am expecting right now...