31.10.18

Make it stop.

Hot flashes racing over my body as I try to fall asleep. Every noise, movement or thought is making me anxious. If only being asleep all the time would be an option. So tired of getting dressed and having nowhere to go, no-one to meet.
While achieving some level of stability in life has always been my ultimate goal, now I know that the purpose is the only thing that truly matters. Not doing anything, not being useful to anyone and missed by anybody is the hardest feeling to live with. I feel so isolated in my own world and as the days pass it is getting worse. Feels like every hour I live sets me further from everyone and everything and I have no idea how to make it stop.

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